Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Go, Nutkin!

There's a new thrill-seeker hanging about at Alton Towers, it seems. A daredevil squirrel has been riding a newly refurbished roller-coaster to the consternation of the management. The intrepid rodent, first attracted by the packed lunches brought by workmen, has taken to riding in the cars on morning test runs and joining the volunteers trying out the ride.

Mindful of the risks involved, the management have installed the sort of high-pitched noise generator used to deter alcopop-wielding teenagers from hanging around shopping centres at night. A sonic device, in other words so the squirrel has inevitably been nicknamed 'Sonic'.

And there's something slightly disappointing when you find out that the ride is, coincidentally, the 'Sonic Spinball' and the source of the information is Alton Towers' director of sales and marketing. And the newly-refurbished ride opened to the public on Sunday.

So there you are; the sum total of the evidence for the regular rides is a single picture of a squirrel in a stationary roller-coaster car and a story from a marketing director. Is it true? You decide.


  1. Of course it is true! Everything anybody has ever said is true!

    Like that totally authentic looking blue squirrel with the detachable fur. Totally plausible.

  2. "...the source of the information is Alton Towers' director of sales and marketing."

    Well, the 'Telegraph' was obviously fooled!

  3. MW - to quote Dorothy Parker:
    Oh, Life is a glorious cycle of song,
    A medley of extemporanea,
    And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
    And I am Marie of Roumania.

    JuliaM - Unless, of course, the Telegraph is in on the promotional act.
    Or would that be too cynical?