Panel-beating, Bicester style

Tales of random violence and anti-social behaviour are, alas, all too common, but something about this story caught my eye:

A 19-year-old man was 
assaulted during a road traffic incident in Bicester on Bank Holiday Monday, May 27.

It may be significant that it took place just round the corner from the temple of conspicuous consumption that is Bicester Village designer shopping outlet, scene of some truly epic traffic chaos on high days and holidays, with predictably frayed tempers all round.

At about 5pm, the victim was driving his peach VW Beetle on Rodney House roundabout.  

You don't see many of those about! The driver of this conspicuous vehicle was obliged to stop when a Vauxhall pulled over in front of him.

A man got out of the Zafira and punched the victim in the face, while a woman, who also got out of the car, punched the Beetle several times.

The unfortunate victim had to go to hospital for stitches; it's not recorded whether the car was also damaged in the apparently unprovoked attack. Luckily, police have a description of the assailants:

The man was white, in his early 30s, 6ft to 6ft 3ins, of muscle build [sic] with short dark hair shaved at the sides.

He was wearing a dark vest top and shorts and had tribal tattoos down both arms.

The woman was white, 30 to 32, of medium build, 5ft 5ins, with shoulder-length blonde hair with dark roots.

She was wearing a white t-shirt and was pregnant.

So police are looking for a large, shaven-headed, tattooed thug with a violent, pregnant girlfriend.

Sadly, I'm not entirely sure than narrows it down, these days.

Have you seen this man?

Not exactly the Napoleon of crime, is he?


(Photo from BBC News)

Three dog-shaped charity collection boxes have been stolen from Oxfordshire railway stations.

This charming specimen was filmed walking out of Bicester station at 3.50am carrying a three feet tall model Labrador containing funds collected for a guide dog charity.

We've seen the theft of a depressing number of Royal British Legion collecting boxes this year and an RNLI tin stolen by a fisherman who, barely a few weeks later, was part of a crew rescued from a sinking boat by lifeboatmen (I bet some of them secretly wished they had thrown him back again when they found out).

But this is on another scale altogether, at least in terms of risk vs gain; how much is ever allowed to accumulate in those boxes? Hardly enough, I'd suspect, to pay for the petrol to get there: I'm reminded of the thieves who took £30 worth of lead from a model village in Great Yarmouth.

Though all thefts are the result of the same lack of scruples and conscience, stealing a charity collection box seems somehow even more reprehensible; like the recent theft of a child's wheelchair or the removal of metal lettering from a war memorial, it strikes a chord of outrage with the general public.

For the perpetrator, of course, that distinction doesn't exist; there is only opportunity.

Pointless, vile and despicable; I'm going to need a new label for criminals like this. Sadly, the way things are going, I think it's probably going to get a lot more use in future.