Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Thursday, 1 July 2010


Back in October 2008, Eric Pickles said a Conservative government would re-instate weekly refuse collections. Well, Eric, get a move on!

It was the blackbird that alerted me. Time after time, I found him sitting near the dustbins with his beak full, looking decidedly pleased with himself. And well he might be; in addition to a sheltered nest site and a bird-bath, it appears the Tavern garden now offers him a fast-food outlet.

Since those eco-minded types at the council delivered our kitchen waste caddy, we have dutifully put all our food scraps into bio-degradable bags and thence into the brown wheelie-bin, to be carted off for recycling - no bin-liners or chemicals allowed.

Trouble is, they empty the bin once a fortnight. And despite washing the bin out two weeks ago, I discovered today* that we have acquired livestock in the shape of several hundred extremely agile maggots busy re-enacting the Great Escape - hence the happy blackbird.

It's not beyond the wit of man (or woman) to see that bi-weekly food waste collections may be acceptable in winter but when the thermometer creeps up past 25C they leave much to be desired. So come on Cameron &Co - let's have some action before the plague of flies descends on us all.

*Bleurgh - noise made while violently vomiting into one or more person's shoes (Urban Dictionary), which pretty well sums it up.

Update: Seems I'm not the only one having maggot problems, if the experience of these air passengers is anything to go by. Forget 'Snakes on a Plane' - if you want to see true horror, try maggots.


  1. Don't look at it as 'dealing with a pest problem'. Look at it as 'increasing the biodiversity of my garden'.. ;)

  2. I've tried, but that's not much consolation, JuliaM.

    Do you think it would speed things along if I packaged up some maggots and sent them to Eric Pickles and David Cameron?