Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Labour's Seaside Manifesto - blink and you'll miss it!

Yesterday afternoon, this bizarrely-titled document was appearing in media reports - by evening, there was scarcely a mention. Did they think better of it? Where did it go? Or was it just killed off by the British weather - the planned photo-ops of Brown surrounded by happy families eating ice-cream failing to materialise.

Still, it seems only right to commemorate it in song...

Seaside Manifesto

Seaside, while the media stroll along with me
I'm busy showing them that right is on my side;
See how I’ve teamed up with Duncan Bannatyne?
(You know you’d like to criticise but you can't)
So I’m campaigning madly,
Would town regeneration make you vote for me gladly?
A brand new angle in every marginal
Seaside rendezvous.

I’m getting frantic, three days left to campaign,
So it's Seaside manifesto time - you’ll like it,
It’s fantastic, you can be an entrepreneur,
And there are neighbourhood agreements,
Heritage programmes
And rebuilt piers - it's so fashionable!


And so Great Yarmouth, where I am today
Visiting with Duncan here,
In a renaissance
Will be the Riviera of the North Sea
With just some regeneration and some government cash
If you all vote for me.

So we’re here at the seaside
For a photo opportunity
Maybe things’ll work out right
See how I’m posing with Duncan Bannatyne
In search of some reflected glory from the man?
Though maybe deep down we know
The public’s had enough of us and yearn to see me go
There’s still a place for Labour’s sensational
Seaside manifest-o – it’s adorable
Seaside manifest-o–o-o
Seaside manifest-o, give us a kiss!


1 comment:

  1. Good music.

    That picture - did you notice that it looks as if that lady's nose is about to be bitten off by the man who isn't even looking at her, either that or she's a throat surgeon ...