Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Monday 31 May 2010

Darwin Awards - Bank Holiday Special

It's been a good weekend for Darwin Award* hopefuls; today's Telegraph features side-by-side two stories that surely deserve honourable mention.

Firstly there's the Ipswich man who had to be cut free by firefighters after getting his arm stuck inside a pub vending machine. When the machine refused to dispense a cuddly toy for his son, our hero bravely reached inside, becoming so firmly lodged that it took his rescuers more than an hour to free him.

He may, of course, have been inspired by this...

Meanwhile a Manchester builder created his very own fireball when he liberally sprayed air freshener round the interior of his van then lit a cigarette - which makes one wonder why he bothered with air freshener in the first place.

*For those who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the gene pool" in some particularly stupid fashion. In these cases, honourable mention only, as both are now recovering.


  1. Not good enough. They survived!

  2. When the machine refused to dispense a cuddly toy for his son,

    Too late. All we can hope for now is damage limitation. I reccomend sterelisation for the child.

  3. JuliaM, Mrs R, I'd say it definitely puts them among the also-rans, although I shouldn't be surprised to see the Manchester builder make another appearance in the future - he shows distinct promise.

    FT, well spotted! We'll just have to hope the boy gets his genes from his mother (although if her choice of partner is anything to go by...)

  4. Apparently "Glade" has done for quite a few homes. Whilst the van driver used a spray in a home with a plug in one the combination of cheap electrics and volatile substances has its potential problems.

  5. Thought you might be along on this one, Demetrius.

    I agree - I sometimes wonder whether there should, in any case, be a special Darwinian category for people who systematically (and systemically?) poison themselves (and their progeny) with chemicals for cosmetic effect.


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