Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Sunday, 7 March 2010

NHS = Nanny Has Spoken

So you’re having problems getting about, a bit unsteady on your pins. Anno domini and all that, plus a little local difficulty that set in recently. And your bones aren’t exactly in good nick, so a fall would be a disaster.

And one day you wake up with a real mobility problem. Luckily there’s a solution out there. A walking frame’s what you need – a simple answer to a straightforward problem.

Well, not if you’re dealing with the NHS it isn’t. First of all, you have to convice a clerical officer that you need a frame. If you're lucky and they like you, they’ll put you on a waiting list to be assessed. So far so good – but there’s more.

You finally get to the assessment and – hooray!- you’ve hit the jackpot. You’re assigned a walking frame – and a good thing too; your condition has worsened substantially while you were waiting. But there’s a catch.

Before they let you out with the nice shiny frame, you have to be trained in its use. Never mind that you have a first class degree in engineering, you have to be taught the correct use of NHS equipment. So you’re put on another waiting list for training.

And then, at last, you’re let out to walk again.

If you live that long, that is.

Of course you can always buy your own - provided you're computer literate (or near the right shops) and know in advance that you will need it. In an emergency you have to rely on the NHS, which is not a comforting thought. (H/T Witterings from Witney)
Update: looks like it's open season on the NHS - and about time! (More at my post 10 ways the NHS is killing people)


  1. "efore they let you out with the nice shiny frame, you have to be trained in its use. "

    WTF? It's a walking frame, not a combine harvester!

  2. Here's what Nanny has to say about it:
    Any aid is only useful if you know how to use it properly and safely. Whenever you get new (or replacement) equipment, ask to be shown how it works.

    Actually, you don't have a choice; some jobsworth has decided you will be shown how to use it, so they can tick a box and get their brownie points.

    And if all that wasn't monstrous enough, here's an extract from their information for carers:
    If you're looking after someone on a temporary basis, you might want to borrow equipment. Your local Red Cross can often lend you wheelchairs and other equipment for short periods.
    For crying out loud, you're the National Health Service! Isn't it your job to help with medical needs?

    Sorry - just had to get that off my chest.


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