Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Friday 7 June 2013

Panel-beating, Bicester style

Tales of random violence and anti-social behaviour are, alas, all too common, but something about this story caught my eye:
A 19-year-old man was 
assaulted during a road traffic incident in Bicester on Bank Holiday Monday, May 27.
It may be significant that it took place just round the corner from the temple of conspicuous consumption that is Bicester Village designer shopping outlet, scene of some truly epic traffic chaos on high days and holidays, with predictably frayed tempers all round.
At about 5pm, the victim was driving his peach VW Beetle on Rodney House roundabout.  
You don't see many of those about! The driver of this conspicuous vehicle was obliged to stop when a Vauxhall pulled over in front of him.
A man got out of the Zafira and punched the victim in the face, while a woman, who also got out of the car, punched the Beetle several times.
The unfortunate victim had to go to hospital for stitches; it's not recorded whether the car was also damaged in the apparently unprovoked attack. Luckily, police have a description of the assailants:
The man was white, in his early 30s, 6ft to 6ft 3ins, of muscle build [sic] with short dark hair shaved at the sides.
He was wearing a dark vest top and shorts and had tribal tattoos down both arms.
The woman was white, 30 to 32, of medium build, 5ft 5ins, with shoulder-length blonde hair with dark roots.
She was wearing a white t-shirt and was pregnant.
So police are looking for a large, shaven-headed, tattooed thug with a violent, pregnant girlfriend.

Sadly, I'm not entirely sure than narrows it down, these days.


  1. Indeed it doesn't!

    But it's interesting that the story is written from the point of the victim and offers no suggestion that this was anything but a totally out of the blue attack. We had a similar one in Southend a day or so ago.

    Maybe a totally different old man in a peach VW cut this guy up, and he mistook this chap for him?

    Yes. That must be it.

  2. Julia, the only description given is certainly ambiguous:

    ...the victim was driving his peach VW Beetle on Rodney House roundabout and was exiting on the same lane as a blue Vauxhall Zafira. The Zafira drove in front of the Beetle and braked.

    Mistaken identity does happen, though. Some years ago, I owned a sporty(ish) car in an unusual shade and, on more than one occasion, was surprised - and, on twisting roads, terrified - to find some souped-up boy-racer revving up alongside, clearly challenging me to race. Luckily, one look at the expression on my face as they drew level seemed to get rid of them.

    It was only when I saw a car identical to mine being driven at high speed out of a local estate, stereo blaring, that I realised what must be happening; there were only two of these cars in town and the number-plate was almost the same as mine (and presumably the driver's friends weren't the most literate types anyway).

  3. Bicester isn't getting very good press lately, is it?


  4. A sad case.

    No doubt the 'something-must-be-done!' brigade will immediately require all shop fittings in stores selling adult clothing to be engineered to resist the attentions of a bored and over-tired child.


Moderation is on as I’m having some technical difficulties with Comments