Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Tuesday, 12 November 2024

Going nowhere fast

It’s hard not to think of this Labour government as the dog that has caught the car.

It’s taken them a while to work out that they are actually in charge - think of Keir Starmer repeatedly addressing Rishi Sunak as ‘Prime Minister’ - but now they are flexing their legislative muscles, there’s a distinct air of a triumphant Labrador in possession of a Ford Focus.

Opposition, as any former student politician or union activist will tell you, is great fun. There’s no need to bother with all that tedious research or fact-finding and nobody checks your workings; you just shout derisively about whatever it is that the other side is proposing and enjoy the fierce glow of righteous indignation.

When it comes to facts and figures, you are at liberty to gather them where you please, secure in the knowledge that you won’t be required to act on them or held to account in the real world - a pressure group website here, a speculative thesis there; it’s all grist to your political mill as long as it provides a stick with which to beat your opponent.

I have a horrible feeling that the lawyers, shop stewards and former SpAds of the Labour government still inhabit this abstract world where pensioners, farmers, private school pupils or small business owners are not real people but statistical constructs in the literature of lobbying campaigns and biased studies on which the party appears to be basing its policies. What is most frightening is that they don’t appear to consider relevant experience or background information to be of any importance.

Thus we have an Education Secretary imposing VAT on the independent sector while boasting that she has never spoken to its representatives or, for that matter, set foot through the door of any private school (she might have played hockey on the pitch of one but didn’t inhale) and the imposition of potentially ruinous inheritance tax on small farms while Rural Affairs are in the hands of a Streatham MP with no discernible connections to the countryside (although he does have a nice new pair of £420 wellies from Lord Alli).

The changes proposed so far do not augur well for the next few years - already we have the prospect of freezing pensioners (and the resulting pressure on the NHS), a hospitality sector and small businesses groaning under the new NI regulations, potential widespread strikes for parity with the train drivers and possible food shortages as irate farmers protest about the threat to family farms - but Labour appear to be congratulating themselves on doing a sterling job.

It must be fun, sitting with your paws on the steering wheel barking at passers-by.

8 comments:

  1. "there’s a distinct air of a triumphant Labrador in possession of a Ford Focus."

    Ha ha, I like that, it's spot on.

    There is something real about that Ford Focus too, a massive inertia which goes its own way whatever politicians or pundits predict.

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    1. To extend the analogy further, the Ford Focus also has a dodgy steering rack due, in part, to Blair stuffing the workings of the state with his own placemen two decades ago.

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  2. "Opposition, as any former student politician or union activist will tell you, is great fun."

    Our current opposition doesn't appear to have got into the game yet.

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    1. Sadly they’ve all been too busy fighting like ferrets in a sack over the leadership.

      Whatever one thinks of Sunak as a leader, it was unforgivable of him to go missing in action as soon as the election was lost, leaving Labour a series of open goals despite glaring inconsistencies such as their own previously published figures of winter deaths or their incorrect statements about independent school finances.

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  3. A great description of our new government, but a bigger problem lies with the tax collectors, police and courts, who will do exactly what they are told to do, regardless of how bad it gets.
    The student activists can't do a damn thing without a public sector army who are 'just following orders'

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    1. For some years now, it has been impossible to achieve promotion in education without paying lip service to the prevailing political orthodoxy; I assume the same thing applies in the law, HMRC and the civil service in general.

      Any member of the lower echelons questioning official policy would thus be up against not only orders from On High but a succession of levels of management determined - or pretending - to endorse those orders.

      It would take a brave soul indeed to take a stand against such a monolith.

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  4. In my neck of the woods, unfortunately, a Labour constituency, there is already talk by the senior citizens groups, to gather in the foyer of the council offices on cold days, as the heating will be on. Knitting, books, flasks of tea, and sandwiches optional. An alternative location could be the Labour Party offices, if the council starts evicting pensioners into the cold. A little bit of media publicity may, hopefully, make the Comrade's heads explode.
    Penseivat

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    1. I love the idea of subversive gatherings equipped with knitting and flasks etc.

      Perhaps they could adopt guerrilla tactics, compiling a list of suitable spaces and deciding on the day which one to occupy; this would not only catch TPTB off-guard but also add an enlivening touch of novelty and excitement to the proceedings.

      I await the resulting headlines with great eagerness!

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