Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Monday 13 February 2023

A Mammoth Task

The hiatus since the last post has much to do with the content of this one; in a recent search, I stumbled across something which I think worthy of comment but it’s taken a while to work out exactly how to approach it. The scale of the thing is so horribly daunting that it presents a major challenge to convey its nature in a mere handful of paragraphs.

This is, inevitably, the result of the number of people likely to have been involved in its creation; for anyone who has ever wondered what it is all those dozens of NHS Diversity Officers and Coordinators actually do, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...*drumroll*... the NHS Northern Care Alliance Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Calendar 2022.

This document - which runs to 28 pages and is presumably the result of many weeks of work (and numerous meetings-with-biscuits) - 

...‘has been developed as a resource for NHS staff to demonstrate a visible and supportive role which is committed to respecting and celebrating diverse communities, cultures and faiths.’

On the face of it, a calendar giving the main religious festivals of the year including fasts and observances sounds like a useful idea (especially in a medical setting) and I can say from experience that staff booking appointments aren’t always aware of public holidays. However, the compilers of this magnum opus clearly saw this as a mere preamble to the main event, a plethora of obscure celebrations, awareness days and campaigning opportunities ambitiously intended to:

 Promote equality, diversity and inclusion

 Break down barriers and foster an inclusive environment

 Avoid wastage by ensuring appointments are scheduled accordingly

 Ensure key events do not clash with major festivals.

 Encourage wellbeing

All very laudable, I’m sure, but any member of staff hoping for a quick reference guide has to wade through a bewildering cornucopia of colour coding - orange for Buddhist, blue for Christianity, purple for Judaism etc - and irrelevant and inconsequential detail - since when was St Hilary’s Day a major festival? Why did they feel the need to dedicate a third of a page to the benefits of Dry January? And how many patients or staff intend to observe the Summer Solstice or World Humanist Day?

Anxious not to overlook even the slightest opportunity for virtue-signalling, the authors have given explanatory paragraphs for National Hijab Day, Gipsy, Roma and Traveller History Month and the bafflingly named International Day of Happiness (plus, of course, LGBT and Black History Months respectively) along with a bewildering variety of other causes. It is, in fact, so inclusive that any helpful information is completely smothered by a wealth of extraneous (and painfully self-righteous) froth.

And there’s one aspect which may have escaped the compilers completely (or perhaps not). In all my dealings with the NHS, I do not recall ever being asked about my religious affiliations (or lack of them). When the calendar says that out-patient appointments should not be scheduled for Pesach, Nirvana Day or Chinese New Year, do they mean only for those wishing to celebrate? And if so, how do they know?

Far more likely, I’d suggest from bitter experience, that an indifferent desk clerk will look at the calendar and simply avoid making appointments for any day marked with a circle, which, in October, would leave a grand total of six weekdays free from significant events - even though those circles mark, among others, the International Day of Older Persons, World Menopause Day and Halloween.

The overwhelming impression given by this epic work is of a bloated and unwieldy Diversity industry within the NHS intent on proclaiming and justifying its existence. If ever there were a case for the speedy construction of a Golgafrinchan B-Ark, surely this is it!

                                ————————-

I’ve often thought it odd that we should have all these weeks or months attached to particular issues, as if they somehow matter less at other times. To quote Tom Lehrer (again):

It’s only for a week, so have no fear; 

Be grateful that it doesn’t last all year!




4 comments:

  1. Brilliant! I love it when someone takes the hard and dedicated work of some diversity nonce, and breaks it down into laughable junk.

    "‘has been developed as a resource for NHS staff to demonstrate a visible and supportive role which is committed to respecting and celebrating diverse communities, cultures and faiths.’"

    I read that a few times and still don't understand what it means

    "orange for Buddhist, blue for Christianity, purple for Judaism etc"

    I thought the colour coding system was reserved for different types of gay?

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  2. I suspect the key words in that quote are ‘demonstrate’ and ‘visible’ - in other words, virtue-signalling - but as for the rest of it, I haven’t a clue either.

    I wonder how many meetings it took them to decide which colour to assign to each religion ...

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  3. Yes, more of the millions thrown at the NHS being pissed at the wall. As an aside, how things have changed in the public performance sphere. TL's audience sat and listened to him before applauding politely when he'd finished. Now, in my limited experience of live music, some would talk all the way through while others would shriek and shout in reaction to the lyrics. It may be coincidence that said limited experience is becoming more limited by the day.

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  4. Part of the problem, funding-wise, is who would now dare raise an objection to pouring yet more money into the diversity pit? Imagine the accusations and insinuations that would ensue.

    As for audience behaviour, don’t forget the ones who turn their backs on the performer to get a selfie. Admittedly, audiences weren’t much better in past centuries, but it’s sad that manners are so frequently lacking now.

    I suppose the height of politeness is that lovely moment in The Midwich Cuckoos’, where the philosopher Zellaby allows the Bach record to which he is listening to ‘tie itself up in a neat bow’ before wondering aloud to his guest whether a recording should be afforded the same politeness one would give to the performers in person.

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