Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Invasion of the Brummie Snatchers

There's proof today, it if were needed, that the silly season is well under way. A Freedom of Information request by staff at a Banbury newspaper (who surely have better things to do) has revealed a fascinating fact:
It may sound out of this world but Thames Valley Police has dealt with 15 reports of aliens in just four years.
This includes sightings in Milton Keynes, Oxford, High Wycombe and Chipping Norton, where 'residents claimed to have spotted little green men twice'.

Here at the Tavern, we like to keep an eye out for tales of visitors from beyond the void, particularly since I was one of a number of people who saw an unexplained object in the sky over rural Scotland one night in the mid-70s. (Occam's razor - always a useful tool when dealing with the paranormal - suggests it was a prototype drone from a nearby military base).

According to the news article,
Back in 2007, UFO expert Michael Soper claimed the Thames Valley area was becoming an alien hotspot.
Which is quite odd, because back in March, Birmingham Mail readers were told....
Back in 2010, UFO expert Richard Lawrence claimed Birmingham was becoming an alien hotspot.
,,,in an article beginning:
It’s out of this world – West Midlands Police has dealt with 23 reports of ALIENS in just four years.
Spooky! Or, alternatively*, lazy journalism; "It's summer, half the staff are off on holiday and we need a front-page article by midday on Tuesday - see if you can nick a piece from someone else's archives".

It's not even as if Thames Valley can compete with Birmingham's grand total of 23 sightings:
Three of the cases concerned alien abduction plots while two others claimed attacks were mounted by extra terrestrials. 
Four more were reports of people talking to or hearing aliens, while the majority – 14 – were sightings of little green men.
According to the police, five were registered as false alarms and advice was given in three cases - sadly, the report does not say what it was, although I'm guessing it had something to do with laying off the illegal substances - leaving fifteen presumably unaccounted for; heady stuff for local UFO enthusiasts.

I'm particularly intrigued by the 'alien abduction plots'; I must admit that I am having some difficulty anyway with the idea of the West Midlands as a point of first contact, and why extra-terrestrials would want to make off with the locals there, as opposed to, say, CERN (assuming their intentions are intellectual) or their usual remote rural USA (for more fundamental purposes) is more than a little baffling.

Surely they would be better off in Chipping Norton, where it would actually make sense to say, "Take me to your leader".

*Unless, of course, it is an orchestrated campaign for an as-yet-undisclosed purpose and we are being softened-up by advertisers (or aliens).


  1. At the risk of being boring, the Thames Valley has quite a few small and other airfields from which a variety of flying things go up. Varying from light aircraft. microlites, balloons and other things. It is easy to mistake them in the dark and with the light behind them, as Gilbert and Sullivan once remarked.

  2. Imagine what it could be like when the skies are full of Amazon delivery drones.

  3. Thank goodness you're on the ball, Macheath, seeking out these alien hotspots. There's one in Blackheath.

  4. Demetrius, the abundance of 'metallic' objects in the local reports certainly bears out your theory.

    AKH, given the 'mistletoe drone' that injured a diner last Christmas, I'm not sure I want to imagine it - my advice is to carry a stout stick at all times.

    JH, there are certainly a lot of them around - a while back, it was Silbury and, before that, Glastonbury Tor.

    It is a matter of record that there was a huge surge in American sightings after the broadcast of a dramatised account of an early 'close encounter'. Later, 'The X-Files' generated a similar increase. I've often wondered whether the rise in bedroom TV sets has much to do with it; people watching in a susceptible - and suggestible - doze may well take on a subliminal message that there is 'something' out there.