Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Baby, you can punch my car

Remember this, from earlier this month?
A man got out of the Zafira and punched the victim in the face, while a woman, who also got out of the car, punched the Beetle several times.
Not an isolated case, it seems. A public-spirited chap in Berkshire who remonstrated with a child for dropping litter in a DIY store car park found himself under attack from its sire and dam:
The father punched him in the head twice and the mother smashed in the passenger door of his car.
The perpetrators sound similar too; in the first case,
The man was white, in his early 30s, 6ft to 6ft 3ins, of muscle build [sic] with short dark hair shaved at the sides. The woman was white, 30 to 32, of medium build, 5ft 5ins, with shoulder-length blonde hair with dark roots.
While in the second,
The man was white, about 5ft 7ins and of a "very muscular build with a shaved or bald head". The woman is described as white, aged 38 or 39, with long blonde hair tied into a pony tail, and wearing a light pink top.
If it's the same woman, albeit clearly looking a bit rougher, she has managed in the space of three weeks to trade up from a Zafira to a 'new-looking' gold pick-up truck while incidentally changing partners (unless, of course, the first victim exaggerated the size of his assailant).

An unlikely coincidence, you'll agree (at least as far as the car is concerned), which leaves us contemplating the unpleasant possibility that this may now be standard practice in some circles, with the traditional female cry of 'Leave it; he's not worth it' replaced by a spot of impromptu panel-beating.

While we generally applaud equality for the female of the species, it's more than a little worrying to think that these aggressive couples have learned to synchronise their attacks on owner and vehicle alike.


  1. She could have traded up a car, or alternatively they are rich enough to afford two cars. Money and wealth doesn't have any connection with class.

  2. Of possibly the two events are about seven years apart and the woman got older and the bloke started to stoop?

  3. very true, SBML, and it would be nice to think that there is only one couple out there behaving in this way. However, experience and a certain cynicism leads me to think otherwise.

    MW, in idle moments, I occasionally ponder the future consequences of the wide variation within our population of maternal age.

    Professional women are postponing motherhood ever later, while, in some areas, it's quite common to find grandmothers still in their mid-thirties. The old rule of thumb that a generation is 25 years has become meaningless, at least as far as women are concerned.

    The result is part of the population racing through their life-cycle at several times the speed of others, the extrapolation of which leads to some interesting (if politically incorrect) possibilities for science fiction scenarios.

    Or perhaps the gold pick-up truck is actually a time machine...

  4. A man got out of the Zafira and punched the victim in the face, while a woman, who also got out of the car, punched the Beetle several times.

    Sheer class.