Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Friday, 20 July 2012

"The hand that rocks the cradle..."

...packs a mean punch as well, at least if this is anything to go by.
A MAN arrested for carrying a knuckle-duster has escaped jail after claiming it was his mum’s.
Hold on, what was that again?
Steve Lyttle-Byron, 22, of Aragon Close, Jaywick, was arrested with the weapon and 16g of cannabis after being searched by police on June 17. He told officers the drugs were to help his epilepsy and the silver knuckle-duster belonged to his mother.
If it's Jaywick, that explains a lot - they breed 'em tough there! But all the same...silver? As in sterling? That would surely represent a significant financial outlay.

You can almost picture the touching scene; the whole family gathered for a celebration... the kids all clubbing together to buy a special present... Mother's tearful speech -"Thank you - it's just what I always wanted!"
Ita Farelly, mitigating, said: “It is a strange set of circumstances".
That's putting it mildly...
“It is his mother’s weapon - she confirmed that over the phone today."
Ah, you can always rely on Mum to sort it all out - presumably in more ways than one, if she's telling the truth. And she obviously believes in keeping the means to do so readily to hand:
He said his father had been arrested for driving his mother’s car without insurance earlier that day. After realising he had left drugs in the abandoned car, he returned to the vehicle where he found the weapon in the glove compartment.
Young Steve's a chip off both old blocks, by the sound of it. And if he gets his temper from his mother...
He was sentenced to an 18-month anger management programme and told to pay £25 costs. The knuckle-duster will be destroyed.
...then it's perhaps litttle wonder that the police decided to contact her by phone rather than in person, discretion always being the better part of valour - at least in Jaywick.


  1. Mind you, it's truly amazing what some defendants come up with...

  2. I've still got my old shillelagah, bought in Sligo in the 1950's.

  3. Julia - yes, the boggle quotient of this one is pretty high. There's not much one can say - except, perhaps, to make a mental note, if you're ever shopping in Clacton, not to frown too hard at the woman who nicks your parking space (just in case).

    As for the link - it's one of those cases where you have to ask how the defence barrister managed to keep going...

    Demetrius, it's probably a collector's item by now - but the real question is; is it loaded?

    (Damn - earworm time again; the Artful Dodger, being partial to a bit of folk, has inflicted 'Rocky Road to Dublin' on us repeatedly and now you've reminded me of it...)