Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Saturday, 9 May 2009

Expenses! - the musical: part 2 - the Things I have Claimed

(Phil Hope MP makes a cameo appearance along with young people from Corby Borough Council’s SHAPE Dance group.)

And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Care Services Minister Phil Hope with his big solo number:
The Things I have Claimed

(In the style of Julie Andrews)
Shelving, a sofa, six lamps and a hearthrug,
Wardrobes and bedding, new blinds and a bathplug,
Kitchen utensils too many to name,
These are the items for which I have claimed.

Carpets and curtains, a dining room table,
New doors and tiling, electrical cable,
I can see nothing of which I’m ashamed
Reading the list of the things I have claimed.

Yes, I’m embarrassed, being harassed
By the Telegraph,
But since it’s all mine and you can’t take it back,
It looks like I’ll have the last laugh.


  1. According to the "Observer" today, Caroline Flint got herself a nice frock, quite cheap, and some pink high heels to woo the young voter.

  2. That should go down well with 'yungpeeple' - when in doubt, have a makeover.

  3. Just had a look at the 'Observer' hagiography you mention.

    Bit of a Marie Antionette moment, in the current climate - posing for a photoshoot in an outfit worth a cool £250.