Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Friday 17 August 2012

Hold the front page!

Sometimes I think the offices of local newspapers must be filled with aspiring newshounds fervently hoping for some kind of grand disaster.

The Clacton gazette is certainly no exception, if this week's paper edition is anything to go by. When news came in of a roller-coaster accident on the town's pier, it must have seemed like journalistic manna from heaven, even though the reality was less than sensational:
All seven casualties were assessed by paramedics and did not require hospitalisation. A number of the casualties were shaken-up and a few suffered neck pains.
But why let the truth get in the way of a good headline? Ladies and gentlemen, from the people who brought you last year's sensational 'TODDLER INCHES AWAY FROM FALLING OFF PIER', it's....

Ah, bless!


  1. Reminds me of Python's:

    But for the lack of any untoward circumstances for this young secretary to notice and the total non-involvement of Mr. Mellish in anything illegal, the full weight of the law would have ensured that Ralph, Aldous Mellish would have ended up like all who challenge the fundamental laws of our society: in an iron coffin with spikes on the inside!

  2. Well spotted, JH, and entirely in keeping with the slightly surreal world of local newspapers.


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