Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Cut off his X-box!

Romance, it seems, is alive and well on Tyneside. These days, though, the love-struck swain doesn't resort to a ring to demonstrate his commitment, if this touching comment about 25-year-old Keith MacDonald is anything to go by:
We’ve been seeing each other about three or four times a week. He even moved his X-box in”.
Sadly for the girl in question, despite protestations of faithfulness (I think; it’s not easy to tell from his texted assurance: 'I told ya i wud not leave yah hun and i am trying 2 give ya wot ya want'), he moved the X-box out again last week, though he did leave her with a rather more permanent memento - she is expecting his baby.

He’s now planning to move in with another girlfriend, who is also pregnant. Meanwhile, the Sunday Times (paywall – no link, sorry!) has gone to town and rounded up another eight women all of whom claim to have had his children.

In fact, one of his previous partners alleges he told her he already had 12 kids. Her assertion that ‘Men like him should be made to have the snip’ suggests they didn't exactly part on good terms – in fact, he was probably lucky to get away with his X-box intact.

The X-box in question – along with a 28” flatscreen television – is currently housed in the council flat he shares with a friend. Neither of them works -  MacDonald has seldom done so since leaving school: “I never keep a job because it gets too boring for me” – but cigarettes and beer seem to be in plentiful supply.

There’s no incentive for him to get a job; on the contrary, if he stopped claiming benefits, he would be liable for considerably more than the nominal £5 a week maintenance he currently pays towards the upkeep of his children.

If ever there was a case for someone having his X-box removed, surely this is it!

Update: there's more on this (and a novel suggestion for dealing with it) at Burning Our Money.

4 comments:

  1. Looking at his conquests (if I may use such a term) they all fall into a definite category, don't they? They could almost be sisters...

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  2. JuliaM, that struck me too - as did the similarity of his pick-up technique.

    'Stacey...met Macdonald on a bus in 2005 and had a daughter with him.'

    'Stephanie...met Macdonald on a bus and ... gave birth to a son.'


    Perhaps the first thing we should do is stop him getting on any more buses.

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  3. Perhaps when I was rather younger I should have got myself an XBox. But they did not exist then. Somehow I doubt that my electric train may have met with the same degree of success amongst the ladies.

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  4. Demetrius, perhaps you're right and the X-box is the attraction; it's hard to see what else he has going for him - he could hardly be called good-looking, and, if his text message is anything to go by, isn't much of a conversationalist.

    Those girls must have been drunk, depserate or mad keen to get to the next level of Halo 3.

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