And one day you wake up with a real mobility problem. Luckily there’s a solution out there. A walking frame’s what you need – a simple answer to a straightforward problem.
Well, not if you’re dealing with the NHS it isn’t. First of all, you have to convice a clerical officer that you need a frame. If you're lucky and they like you, they’ll put you on a waiting list to be assessed. So far so good – but there’s more.
You finally get to the assessment and – hooray!- you’ve hit the jackpot. You’re assigned a walking frame – and a good thing too; your condition has worsened substantially while you were waiting. But there’s a catch.
Before they let you out with the nice shiny frame, you have to be trained in its use. Never mind that you have a first class degree in engineering, you have to be taught the correct use of NHS equipment. So you’re put on another waiting list for training.
And then, at last, you’re let out to walk again.
If you live that long, that is.
Of course you can always buy your own - provided you're computer literate (or near the right shops) and know in advance that you will need it. In an emergency you have to rely on the NHS, which is not a comforting thought. (H/T Witterings from Witney)