The Sunday Songbook - ‘Oh Mr Miliband!’

“Our department will be at the heart of the new government’s agenda […] to make Britain a clean energy superpower with zero carbon electricity by 2030, and accelerating our journey to net zero.”

Ed Miliband’s speech on his appointment as Energy secretary 

Lately I’ve been thinking of what Miliband has done: 

All those solar farms out there have hardly seen the sun, 

A week of turbines idling when the wind refused to blow 

And most of Britain freezing under early winter snow. 

A thousand miles of pylons will soon march across the nation, 

We’re told to put in heat pumps and to throw our boilers out.

Peddling his net zero lie, 

Decarbonise and don’t ask why;

From every cold and lightless home up goes the shout;

Oh! Mister Miliband, what did you do? 

You committed to renewables, now watch us all turn blue; 

Heading for net zero as quickly as you can 

Oh Mr Miliband, you’re a silly, silly man! 

As Ed’s net zero minions preach, in every way we must  

Reduce our carbon footprint; they’re sure we’ll all adjust,

Though to tell a lass in labour that gas and air is barred

Or taking away inhalers from asthmatics sounds quite hard.

It’s a very different matter when they fly the whole world over 

From conference to summit talks and then back home again, 

But what’s three million miles of flight 

When you are on the side of right?

Never mind the populace who cry in vain:

Oh Mr Miliband, what did you do? 

You want to save the planet so you fly off to Baku,

Hopping on the next plane as quickly as you can: 

Oh Mr Miliband, you’re a silly, silly man!