“Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me…”

Want a pair of glasses

Or a new designer shawl?

And is last year’s summer wardrobe 

Now fitting rather small?

There’s Lord Alli:

Why not give him a call?

And if you’re in New York for New Year’s

And you want to have a ball,

Well, there a penthouse in Manhattan

Won’t cost you anything at all;

Lord Alli 

Will settle it all.

When your son’s busy revising

And needs a quiet place to go,

Or you need designer outfits

For the Fashion Week front row

Go ask Alli,

I think he’ll know

There’s a flat in Covent Garden 

Where you rest your weary head 

But shouldn’t you be asking

What its owner wants instead?

There are places where angels, full of dread,

Fear to tread.