Of all the animals of prey, man is the only sociable one.
Every one of us preys upon his neighbour, and yet we herd together.
The Beggar's Opera: John Gay

Friday, 1 November 2013

Result!

From today's Mail, a seasonal vignette composed entirely of headlines:
  • Woman wielding fake knife handed trick or treat children real lamb's heart when they knocked on her door
  • Children ran away screaming when they realised the heart was real
  • Nine to 12-year-olds were chased by woman wearing blood-stained apron
  • Angry father confronted woman who said it was a 'bit of fun'
and finally...
  • Mother says her children will not be allowed trick or treating again

It all sounds to me rather like going on the ghost train at the fair then demanding your money back because the ride was haunted.

Like David Duff, I have to say, I'm impressed by the thoroughness of the preparation involved:
'a table set out outside the woman's home was adorned with raw cuts of meat, as well as offal, including intestines'
In fact, I like the story so much that I think the householder should be the Tavern's Toast of the Week.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to the scourge of trick-or-treaters; I give you...

...the Butcher of Orpington and her Table of Woe!

6 comments:

  1. Delightful - we need a few more like her.

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  2. Indeed, AKH!

    There's been a brief comment exchange over at Leg-Iron's on the relative merits of liquid laxative injected into chocolates or the creative use of piri-piri sauce; I think she'd fit right in!


    Meanwhile, best of all, perhaps, is the mother's reaction:

    'I was so angry they had been made to touch real meat.'

    It sounds as if home cooking doesn't feature much in her precious darlings' day-to-day routine...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Back in the good old days such a woman woud have got a good hiding from the other mothers around.
    And even got the taint of being a 'witch'.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JH, being serious for a moment, it's dangerous in all the wrong ways; had the parents chosen to raise a mob, who knows what might have happened.

    Malpas, you have hit that particular nail squarely on the head.

    ReplyDelete